Mum divides opinions with punishment that will ‘traumatise’ her daughter forever

A mum took to Reddit to ask whether she was in the wrong for how she punished her 17-year-old daughter – and while some users think she deserved it, others said she took it too far

A mum has asked whether the punishment she gave her daughter was too harsh after she said it’ll leave her “traumatised”.

The woman explained that for a while now, “things have been tense at home,” as a result of her strained relationship with her teenage daughter.

Like many teenagers, her 17-year-old has hit the stage at which she “tries to rebel against any hint of authority” and uses the ‘almost adult’ card at every opportunity.

“There have been times she goes out and doesn’t tell me where she is going,” or when asked to clean her room or do any chores around the house she’ll refuse and say she “is an adult,” the woman said on Reddit’s Am I The A**hole forum.

“Yesterday, my daughter gave me a list of all the flaws that she thinks I have as a person. They are all personal flaws: my gestures, my accent, my physical appearance, etc.

“I would have appreciated it if the list had been about flaws in my parenting, or things that I can improve, but they were all an attack on my person. I was quite offended and sad when I finished reading it.”

In an attempt to teach her daughter that what she did was hurtful, she told her to write a list of all of her own flaws “since she’s so good at dissecting someone’s personality and appearance.”

“I told my daughter that I wanted her to make a list of her flaws like the one she made about me, and then give it to me, so we can both comment about our flaws.”

Until she made the list, she wasn’t allowed to use the car, which angered her no end.

She continued: “My daughter said that I am an a**hole, a bad parent and that making that list about herself is going to traumatise her. She says that taking away her car is horrible and that she is going to hate me for eternity if I don’t stop the punishment.”

She concluded her post by asking users whether she was in the wrong, but the majority of people were on her side and said her daughter needed to “understand how hurtful what she did was.”

One person said: “She needs to understand how hurtful what she did was. But not gonna lie, she seems very unlikely to get it.

“Since she’s almost an adult, how about she starts a part-time job? And earn gas money for the car on her own?” they suggested, adding, “Don’t clean her room, let it rot until she has no choice but to clean it.

“She sounds like a real brat. And 17 is too old for it to be excusable.”

Another wrote: “If she can’t take it she shouldn’t dish it out either.”

While a third added: “I would just ask her where she was planning on living once she turned 18. Because adults don’t live with their mommies and since she wanted to be one so bad she was welcome to do it.

“Adults also buy their own cars, pay their own bills, do their own s**t. So better get a job and start saving because being an adult is expensive and she is almost there.”

But someone else put: “I agree for the most part except for not making her clean her room that can lead to a bug or mouse infestation for [original poster] and can cause a lot of harm (expensive).

“Rather if she doesn’t clean the room, she can lose her belongings including her room. Nobody puts up with a messy roommate, it’s not healthy.”